Letting Go
by CommonNightingale
Summary: A new town and a new life is what Bella is looking for. She is starting college and leaving her unfit mother behind. Will she find peace, love, and independence or heartbreak and disappointment? Cannon pairings, AU AH


**AN This is my first real attempt at a fanfic. I have no beta so don't throw any stones please! I have a vague idea of where I want to go with this so please let me know what you think. **

**I own nothing Twilight related and love me some Smeyer magic. Time to play with my favorite fictional characters!**

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Ch. 1 Take Flight

**BPOV**

The beginning of the rest of my life had arrived. I didn't see much changing for me in the near future. When I thought about what the near future would bring me I got a nervous knot in my stomach. It made me nauseous and amped up. The past thirteen years of my life I have been told when and where to do things. Classes were assigned to me and the work followed right behind. I never really went out of my way in High School and opted for the minimal effort needed to graduate. My mother from time to time would become angry with me and my D equals diploma mentality. Not that it would last for very long, she was easily distracted. She always had her boyfriend to keep her occupied.

My mother had me at a very young age. When I became a teenager she was really annoying about sex and boys because she _knew what it was like to be young._ She knew what it was like sure, but she didn't really know me.

She fooled around for the first time at age fifteen and became a mother at eighteen. Somehow she figured I was going to end up the same if she didn't constantly remind me of how easy it is to get carried away. She was weary of any guy that came around or that I talked to on line. She would randomly check my call logs or text message inbox. I learned to delete everything because some thing as simple as, "Hey Bella, see you at the game" some how translated to, "We are totally going to have sex tonight under the bleachers". Usually I just wasn't allowed to go anywhere just in case I tried to do anything she wouldn't approve of. I swear it felt like I was constantly grounded for the most inane things.

Dishes, clutter, laundry, and junk piled up all around the house. My mother wasn't one for house work. Yet, somehow me leaving a used towel out of the hamper warranted me being grounded and on kitchen duty for a month. I didn't really mind being in the kitchen much. I have pretty much been feeding myself since I was able to operate the kitchen appliances without injury.

I love my mom, I really do. I just feel she has officially lost her mind. Slowly things began to slip further and further away from what I knew as normal. My mom would disappear for three days at a time. She stopped going to work and claimed that everyone there just gossiped and depressed her. She decided that selling pot was an easy way to make money and have fun. I guess she felt I was old enough to pay minimal attention to.

She began partying and wearing my clothes. It was strange to see her acting so stupid. She was over being the mom she wasn't ready to be. She was reaching out and experiencing the life she couldn't have because I was born. She somehow felt she deserved to act this way because she had earned it.

I was quiet and mostly kept to myself. I was pretty much the polar opposite of my mother. Sometimes I wondered if I was more like my father. I didn't really know him because my mom never spoke about him. She moved away from her small town when she learned of her pregnancy and never looked back.

Sometimes I would visualize him driving up to our rented home and packing my bags. He would take me home to a cozy little home in a cozy little town and we would have dinner together. He would ask me about the books I was reading and tell me about his day at work.

I waited for most of my 18 years and it never happened.

I would sit in the front yard, or on the roof of my home waiting. Every car that came down our street I would will to stop and rescue me. I would close my eyes and wait. I would convince myself that if I didn't really believe it would happen then her would show up. That somehow me getting my hopes up actually made him not come. I would sit for hours imagining him looking for me.

My mother would remind me over and over that he didn't come. She claimed he never came because he didn't care. I don't think I ever really believed this, but it is just hard to know that he never looked for me.

My life wasn't miserable by any means. During most of my childhood my mother would do silly crafts with me. As I got older we would have movie nights that lasted until neither of us could stay awake. It was just the two of us. When I turned 15 it all changed. My mom started dating Phil and her whole life became all about him. He didn't seem to like me and I guess it was just a jealousy thing. I don't know, I guess he just has issues. We butt heads because he will randomly just start trying to father me when I felt he had no right. He would argue with my mother about the way I acted or dressed. He wanted to control everything. My mom always took his side. It was sad and twisted, but I saw that she was just lonely after all the years of being a single mother.

My mother's drama is what helped me make the decision to move away for school. I wasn't going far or big. I was moving to a different town to attend a community college. I already had the roommate situation lined up and even had a job waiting for me. My friend Rose was a year older than me and worked at a small restaurant that was family owned. Her brother was moving back home so his room would become mine in a few weeks time. It wasn't a huge change but it was big enough and it was something I could do on my own. My mom had threatened a few times to not let me go, but she really couldn't stop me. She claimed that I owed her and I needed to do as she asked. Really I knew she was just afraid to lose the control over me she had carefully crafted all of my 18 years.

She did stupid little things like tell me she didn't have a copy of my birth certificate when I needed it. She fought with me when I went to the court house to order a new one. Any little bit of control she wanted to dig her claws into. She told me I couldn't take anything out of her house because she had bought it. As frustrating as all this pointless fighting is, I refuse to let it get to me.

I Bella Carver would soon be out of her reach. I would be free to do as I pleased and it both excited and scared me. This shabby home with its inconsistency would not be mine anymore. I would no longer have to worry about there being groceries or electricity when I got home.

Sometimes when I thought about my departure I would weep. As much as my mother made me crazy, she was still my mom. It is hard to just leave her. I have to, though.

It is time to start a life for me.

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**AN**

**Alright bb's let me have it! I have some ideas brewing and I am still deciding what POV's I want to tell this story from. Please review! Next chapter Bella is on her own and gets to know her new world. Enter Rosalie, Jasper, and Jasper's moody best friend Edward.**


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